Movie Review: Dirty Dancing 2017 Remake

When I was in high school I used to watch a lot of movies, but out of all of the movies I saw then, only one was my favorite: Dirty Dancing. I used to watch it every day, sometimes more than once, that's how much I loved it. I knew all the lines by heart, and if I know anything ever remotely close to dancing, it's because of this movie. 

So it wasn't easy to hear that the movie was getting a reboot. There's no way anyone could be able to play Johnny and not make me cringe. Here's the thing with me and dancers: there is Patrick Swayze and then there's the rest. So in my head there was no way anyone could be as good as him. Then I heard that the movie was going to have 3 hours. 3 hours of dancing? With Johnny and Baby? Sign me up! I was ready for the expanded version of their story, kind of like the collector's edition sort of, but instead I didn't get that. I got a musical...

It would be easier to start with what I liked. Before I go on though, let me tell you that there are going to be MAJOR SPOILERS ahead. So be warned. 

I liked the fact that we get more time focused on Penny and Baby. We see them having a "just girls" dance, and I liked that. Nicole can really dance, and it was fun watching her. I also liked that Baby's father, Jake, tells her the repercussions of what she did by helping Penny were. Harsh maybe, but he was right. There's one dance sequence that I loved, which is the famous watermelon/"Do You Love Me" dance. I mostly liked the fact that they did their own thing, instead of copying Patrick and Cynthia's routine for that dance. And I also liked the cover they did for that song. I love the original, but their version has something fun about it, and I don't know what exactly, between the singer's growls and the piano and guitar solos. 

I also liked that at one point Johnny teases Baby, telling her to imagine to have rhythm, which, when you think about it, is a terribly sad truth about the actress. I'm so sorry for Abigail, but she's just one of those people who cannot dance.

While Colt, the guy who played Johnny, didn't seem like such a great actor in this movie, he sure knows how to dance. Remember when I said there's Patrick and then there's the rest of the male dancers? Well, Colt is definitely one dancer that I enjoyed watching perform.

*deep breath*

What I didn't like. Man, this is a long list. The lift, the unnecessary background drama, the fact that it seemed to me that Johnny had more chemistry with Penny than with Baby, the last dance, which should have been spectacular, instead it wasn't, and the ending. That ending is what made me so mad, enough to want to watch the original version immediately. Here's the thing. I'm a romantic at heart, and Johnny and Baby have been my ultimate OTP since before I knew what OTP meant. Which means that in my head, after that last dance, they ride off into the sunset. The movie definitely seems to point to that, otherwise WHY WOULD HER DAD APOLOGIZE TO JOHNNY???? I always saw that scene between Johnny, Baby and Baby's dad as a sort of "welcome to the family" scene, a scene in which Jake accepts that Johnny is the one for his little girl. So to me, they are good. It's been 30 years since the movie came out and probably 20 years since I first saw it, and I still believe the same thing: they make it, get married, live happily ever after. The remake, however, shoots my dreams right in the pachanga, because they do not do that. No, they crush all of my romantic ideas, by making Johnny look like a soccer dad with a bad hair day, and Baby look like what I imagine Lisa should have looked like. It makes no sense. None whatsoever. Also, why a musical? Just...why? 

VERDICT: It's possible that someone who has never seen the original will enjoy this movie, although they'd have to be living all alone, with no friends, no internet, no family, basically no human soul near them, in order to not be introduced to the greatness that was the original Dirty Dancing. I also feel like 3 hours was a little too much for this movie. I'm not sorry for losing those 3 hours, because I watched it after a very stressful day, but I am definitely sorry Hollywood felt the need to remake a classic.